the sleep chronicles

Happy 35th Birthday, love

2011-03-09T10:42:00.004-05:00

Here we are again Colin. if I've got to get older, you're coming with me. You're always with me. I miss you more than I can bear sometimes. I used to fear that when I grew up, you would look like a child to me, but you never have. You grew up with me. You'll grow old with me.

But you should know that you took me with you, just like we said.

wondering

2010-08-17T13:29:00.001-04:00

if i should write again

34

2010-03-09T00:57:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday, baby. I love you still

In Memory

2009-04-04T20:51:00.003-04:00

Nicholas Hughes 1962-2009
I sincerely hope that you've found peace.

For Colin

2009-03-09T03:03:00.003-04:00

Happy birthday, baby boy. I was always yours.
I wonder if you really knew.
I'm yours still.

Making the bed-

2008-12-02T01:30:00.003-05:00

-really makes all things a little better. It's always the dsmn small things that I forget work so well. Listen to music, make the bed, blog from time to time, take good long walks in the winter air... Seriously, why do I insist on making things so difficult? I'm really working on it, and I miss you B.

This...

2008-12-01T20:38:00.000-05:00

...cannot be all that there is...

Little Chieftan

2008-03-09T17:40:00.001-04:00

You exhaled all that I needed to breathe...
I'm breathless still.

Happy Birthday, my truest love.

-Mavourneen

Microdermabrasion for the Soul

2007-12-31T23:34:00.000-05:00

And so the New Year begins, with a sneeze and a wheeze....
were it any way else, it wouldn't be me.

B

2007-07-26T23:47:00.001-04:00

I promise.

I like my men...

2007-07-09T02:19:00.000-04:00

...defeated, exhausted, and hard.

My Hero

2007-06-05T16:43:00.000-04:00

"Right now, I'm taking the birth control pill.....you know.... 'cause I do a lotta fuckin' "

-Sarah Silverman

Father of My Children

2007-05-28T00:50:00.000-04:00

"You're so intelligent, that's why I don't mind when I don't like what you say."
-Chris

same as it ever was...

2007-05-15T21:34:00.000-04:00

alright kiddies, the quest for mental health, gainful employment, and inspiration trudges meekly forward...as always, i've neglected my humble blog once again... the tragedy of it all is that, even after days, nay, weeks of neglect, there's still no exciting news to report... i know, nations mourn the loss of my daily quips and insights...
the state of the A is generally unchanged, so much time, so little to do... and nobody to blame but li'l ole me...

but in the absence of any real accomplishment, one must dwell on the little victories... i wake up in the morning and i go to sleep at night... and this is progress.

Stella Marie Magee Mcphee is, as always, my light, and Chicken Little's little punim (see what i learned in law school - Yiddish!!) never ceases to fascinate me...

and then there's this god forsaken weather that everyone is so wincingly cheery about... where is the pleasure in searing heat and bright light... people may think that I'M the one with the issues, but i think it's against instinct to seek out conditions in which we are likely to burn, dehydrate, and wrinkle... people wonder why i look so young.. yes, the rosy cheeks help, but it's also because i cringe in sunlight... while the masses lay out like lizards on hot rocks, i disappear into the shade and wait once again for the smell of cold and changing leaves...

in the meantime, it's my season to hibernate and fatten up for the winter... mission accomplished.

good god

2007-04-30T11:16:00.001-04:00

M knows how to party... 2 days later and I still think I'm dying.

B

2007-04-26T00:37:00.000-04:00

I 'heart' my bestie and I'm glad she was born...

XANADU

2007-04-25T00:10:00.000-04:00

It's coming to Broadway, and my brother and I are pretty much freaking out about it. Were used to play a game called Kira and Dracula (I've never been sure where Dracula came from), but I can't begin to count the number of times I rollerskated into walls, hoping to enter Xanadu... sigh...it's probably similar to the number of wardrobes I ventured into with great hopes of finding Narnia.... aaanyhoo... my bro and I are seriously freaking out about the show!!

ahh...

2007-04-13T01:57:00.000-04:00

cheap beer and country music...what a night... you can take the girl out of Texas.....

even more good ones...

2007-04-07T09:39:00.000-04:00

"We need to move somewhere where nobody will ever visit us. Like Antartica. Or Queens."
-Ghostwhisperer

"Now, you tell us right now - Who brought you the monkeys?!?"
-L & O

Perp just found with an unconscious woman on the floor and his pants around his ankles-
- Perp: "I was just trying to help her up!"
- Benson: "With your penis?"
-L & O, SVU

Defense attorney falls for his homicidal client-
- Attorney: "Well Lindsay, what do you think?"
- Associate: "Well, I agree that she IS pretty... and a good shot..."
-The Practice

"We don't have time for your personality disorder. Do you understand me?"
-24

"Before we go through the formality of sentencing the Deceased, I mean the Defendant.."
-Blackadder

"Listen , I don't need to play 'slap and tickle' with the U.S. Attorney"
- van Beuren

Flooding in Ireland

2007-03-29T20:31:00.000-04:00

We've all seen the faces of those ravaged by the floods of Sri Lanka and New Orleans.....
This "award-winning" photograph of the recent flood waters rising in Ireland captures the horror and suffering there.

Keep these people in your thoughts and prayers.

Crowds Panic as Flooding Threatens Ireland

revelations

2007-03-26T23:40:00.000-04:00

it only took 31 years to see it, but my dad's a pretty cool cat...

hells yeah

2007-03-19T18:40:00.000-04:00

they're crunchy, they're spicy, and they're all mine

No matter...

2007-03-18T15:22:00.000-04:00

... how many times i watch it, Jaws still scares the bejeezus out of me.

this kinda helps though:
Jaws in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

breathe

2007-03-09T15:37:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday, Love... I miss you terribly.

"Your face belongs to Noxzema, your soul belongs to me." - Colin Daniel Flagg O'Connell

more good ones...

2007-03-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

"If they want to offer you a deal, it's best not to look too eager...and I'm sure it goes without saying - don't freeze or vomit" - The Practice

"You mean he sounded wise?" - B

"Aw, bless their hearts, they didn't even water it down!" - B's dad, upon finding that his kids put an empty bottle of vodka back in the freezer

idleness

2007-03-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

ahh, sweet, sweet boredom...

favorite...

2007-02-23T22:21:00.000-05:00

...quotes of the day:

- "It's not a cross...it's an X....um... it's one of them "X marks the Jew necklaces from Walmart!"

- "you got mugged by a squirrel!!"

- "is this because I'm a lesbian?" (bizarre Law and Order non-sequitur)

charlene

2007-02-22T00:09:00.000-05:00

ode to charlene...
she wafts in with her freshly scented potions and her zealous attack strategy
and she swiftly begins to change my world...
in a matter of hours, charlene pulls peace from chaos.. and i slowly exhale in bliss.

out of the blue...

2007-02-15T14:02:00.000-05:00

it can be such a great comfort to hear from someone long gone... at a time when you're wondering who you are versus who you know you were, it's encouraging to be reminded of the things that you once actually liked about yourself... to see yourself through the eyes of a person who only knows you as you were when you were better... it seems as though i've lost some of myself in the past few years, and it's disheartening that there's an entire era of people who only know me in this light... and i'm ever so grateful for their unconditional love, but i owe all of us better.. and i'm working on it...

family

2007-01-31T15:09:00.000-05:00

censored.

ahhhh, it gets no more fun than this....

2007-01-26T10:13:00.000-05:00

while studying for the bar sucks a big one, preparing to study is pretty cool...

again

2007-01-13T15:28:00.000-05:00

don't ask.... don't even try it... talk about unraveling... and have i mentioned the almighty dollar?kinda..

you ever look back at every penny you've spent and realized how unbelievably stupid most of those purchases were? like going overboard on Secret Santa or those stupid cheap handbags they sell on the street... and don't get me STARTED on the poncho and legwarmers...

so hit REWIND - back to pounding the pavement and studying for the bar... never done both at once though, this blooowwws...

sometimes i wish i'd get hit by a car or something and lapse into a brief-ish coma and be relieved of everything, just for a little while...
but i guess instead, i'll make an inspirational playlist for my iPod and trudge forward accordingly...

when you don't have money, it's all you can even think about... and that sucks.

boo

2007-01-12T05:52:00.000-05:00

hells yeah....for reals, i'm so over being violently ill... my moms would fully agree...

ahhh...

2006-12-31T17:20:00.000-05:00

so it's out with the old and in with the new... i need to think of some resolutions... i'm purposefully avoiding plans for the night, talk about a hectic scene here in the big apple... i mercifully recieved the night off from work... it'll probably be a good time there, but stressful as hell.... they'll make BIG money from all the drunks... i'm even tempted to go in there for a drink, but i'm thinking i'll just wait for the party tomorrow... that's going to be a madhouse... think-a couple dozen waiters, bartenders, and staff all making up for 11 months of serving OTHER people... free booze and karaoke... i'm thinking that there will be a lot of us slinking into work in embarassment next week... ah, the rumors will be a'flying...

2006-12-25T13:07:00.000-05:00

ho ho ho

2006-11-14T16:45:00.000-05:00

don't ask

small mercies...

2006-10-30T19:38:00.000-05:00

i mean, at least it's not just me... i get my routine texts and IMs from my fellow unemployees, from which i actually take quite a bit of comfort ...

in the meantime, there's never been a better time in my life to have DVR.... i've finally stopped spending ridiculous amounts of money on stupid thriller novels...

and my favorite quote of the week "i mean, i just need to do some coke to get right again and then pull the trigger and then i'll be fine"... it's amazing what DOESN'T drive some of those good boys away.... like "on our first date, he walked in on me doing lines off my physics textbook.."

and then something like "i really care about you" can send some running.... i think it's a crapshoot, really... but i've definitely given up reading tea leaves on the issue...

so, tomorrow i might find out if i might get to be a waitress.... 150k was well-spent on law school... not to mention college...and 14 years of private prep school for girls... and etiquette and cotillion... i'm so prepared for a life that seems to never begin...

i'll let you know when it does.

winds of change...

2006-10-29T13:08:00.000-05:00

...there are none...bugger it all.

This long sleep

2006-09-24T15:55:00.000-04:00

It just gets longer and longer... it appears that talking in one's sleep makes for some pretty crappy sleep... waking up in the early afternoon absolutely exhausted...

and i need a fucking job!!!!

somebody find me a job!!!!

i'll do, seriously, almost anything...fetch coffee, make copies, answer phones, investigate crimes, review documents and compliance crap, whatever it takes....

Rough Nights

2006-09-22T15:51:00.000-04:00

This past week, i've begun talking in my sleep... it's never happened before in my life and it's so very, very strange.... I keep waking myself up by talking or yelling... i open my eyes in the middle of the night to find myself reaching for something that i'm dreaming about... i gesture and turn my head to talk to the people in my dreams (which are getting really intense)... i wake up crying or shouting out or just talking to nobody.... it's really spooky and it leaves me shaken well into the next day...

Impatience-a Haiku

2006-09-18T15:30:00.000-04:00

waiting for the L
I find myself wondering
if it's just a myth

Live from the East Village

2006-08-11T21:21:00.000-04:00

It's me !! FINALLY moved and getting settled... haven't seen much of my new neighborhood yet, but I'm exploring a bit of it tonight... I hope it smells less like pee than my front stoop...I was welcomed to my new home by two sketchy looking characters rolling a joint on my front steps, so this place promises to be most interesting...

I think i've found my new workout plan... I'll have to invest in several treadmills...

priceless

2006-08-05T15:20:00.000-04:00

broker -2500
deposit - 7000
boxes - 60
being given the wrong keys by the super - fucking annoying

rollercoaster

2006-08-01T13:35:00.000-04:00

so completely bummed

2006-07-31T00:21:00.000-04:00

i fucking quit

after the madness

2006-07-27T01:35:00.000-04:00

we debriefed at Chelsea Piers, each of us pale and rattled, slightly more drunk than we should have been, due to the movement of the piers... i didn't realize until today that they, themselves move.... thought it was just the boats, but nope, the piers move too... most unsettling...
..then a breif stop at the homestead to bathe and redress before all hell broke loose in the form of unbridled karaoke...

...it was the first time ever that i have bourne witness to the darker side of carefree karaoke... the side where angry little people pitch temper tantrums when other people sing their songs....and i pity that tiny man who yelled at us and then proceeded to embark upon a much worse rendition of Cole Porter's Anything Goes, than we had going... it was truly a sad moment for anyone who loves musical theatre... who was mostly me...he clearly had no understanding of the essence of Mr. Porter....

..so we eventually swerved home, with my vigilant hand holding B's so that she didn't wander away entirely... i got to be the boyfriend tonight...she's ALWAYS my boyfriend, but tonight was my night to guide and protect....met a couple of nice boys... nothing to write home about...

but the madness had begun long before i arrived, so i caught the tail end of it...got to do a little singing though, that was fun..,i hope B is intact in the morning, though i'm thinking i'll have to refresh her memory on the bulk of the evening...

and now, in the dark of the night, it's just me, stella marie magee, and chicken little....and buffy...wish i was sleepier...

and i'm...

2006-07-26T22:04:00.000-04:00

alive, but not unscathed

Amazing

2006-07-24T20:22:00.000-04:00

Go see The Infliction of Cruelty... it'll be incredible..seriously..

watchapalooza

2006-07-24T17:15:00.000-04:00

i bought two, count 'em, TWO watches today, because my other one was getting a little sketchy (sorry rach, i really do love it)...so i've got a MASSIVE men's digital on one wrist and an analogue on the other.... both of which i'm vigilantly checking against my computer clock to make sure they keep good time....
i've packed my little barbri bag to overflowing, and there's not even any food in there yet... this is going to take some creative stretching...

god help me, here it goes...

jesus mary and joseph

2006-07-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

this is actually happening isn't it?

what once seemed like a cautionary tale has been realized as a cold stone in the pit of my stomach and a mountain of understudied materials spread over my bed...

petit

2006-07-12T02:44:00.000-04:00

goodnight, sweet prince

Bar Exam Angst

2006-07-12T02:41:00.000-04:00

This was sent to me from Matthew with the caption :

"Vomit soaked copy of the Federal Rules of Evidence found on Broadway. Someone is worse off than us."

....And I thought NOTHING could make me feel better...

2006-07-10T23:08:00.000-04:00

i bleed

fragmenting

2006-07-10T17:41:00.000-04:00

people are really starting to get unhinged around here

and the story...

2006-07-08T13:52:00.000-04:00

so here's how it went... my bestie convinced me to take a study break and go visit her new boy on the set of this music video he was shooting for a band called The Rapture... SO, we stand around watching for an hour or so, watch the filming, hang out with the boy.... and it's all starting to look mighty fun... people racing around the rink on four wheels, dressed in crazy disco gear, i mean, you wouldn't BELIEVE the stunts some of these guys could do, and they were just regular people, who like to rollerskate...

After not-too-much cajoling, i tentatively agreed to wiggle my (sockless=EW) feet into some rather rancid skates, and give the whole thing a whirl...
At first B and i were shakey on the skates, but four hours, and many near misses later, we were whizzing around the rink at high speeds... mostly slower than anyone else on the rink, but we held our own... were were skating furiously after cameras on wheels while The Rapture played "Get Myself Into It" which, you can hear on their Myspace page, over and OVER again... that song will haunt me till the end of my days...in a good way...

The band was awesome, the people were hilarious, and the exercise was pretty intense.. by the end of the night, we were sweaty, exhausted and pathologically giggly... i nearly ate it a few times from laughing so hard at the utter surrealness of the entire situation.. i mean, there we were, in a Sketchy-ass area in Brooklyn, rollerskating in the middle of the night on CAMERA to the melodious sounds of ONE song for four hours... these hijinks of B and A will be coming soon to an MTV near you...

what the....?

2006-07-07T05:25:00.000-04:00

weirdest....night...ever.

here it begins

2006-07-05T10:54:00.000-04:00

the final stretch, and i'm terrified..

Stoop

2006-07-01T12:57:00.000-04:00

I have to say, I'm REALLY going to miss my front stoop. I learn more about life and people there than anywhere else in the world... sometimes i learn too much...
but it's pretty incredible what people will reveal when they're procrastinating on taking the stairs in a 10-story building when the elevator's broken... and yes, kids it was broken again last night... i live on the 10th floor... but, miraculously, it was fixed at some point in the wee hours, so by the time our obscene confessional was wrapped up, it was back in working order... thank god, 'cause i was debating crashing in the study lounge... an evening of vodka sodas doesn't make for top stair-climbing conditions...

it's so simple

2006-06-30T22:16:00.000-04:00

will somebody PLEASE remind me to listen to music? it's amazing the good it does...

A Haiku for Home

2006-06-27T17:59:00.000-04:00

damp carpet smells like

thick inevitable death

which is none but mine

Disaster

2006-06-25T17:59:00.000-04:00

Masters.... if there was ever a time when i needed them, now is it... things were out of control before, don't get me wrong, but now there's the Second Great Flood of 2006... and this time, it's NOT my fault...
... so my apartment is slowly turning into a swamp, and it appears that nothing can be done about it...so what was once a pit of despair is now a soggy pit of despair... and i spend my days debating on whether or not it's a good idea to hire Disaster Masters... it's starting to look like a very good investment...

i'm accepting donations...

hair

2006-06-21T10:53:00.000-04:00

don't even ask, words fail me.... and so did supercuts

Halloween

2006-06-18T13:40:00.000-04:00

so, i'm already sooo excited... i hope that the idea sticks, 'cause i'm already getting into character...i guess the reality is, a tv show that so definied me as a 16 year old is STILL a good representation of me today.... maybe Stern is right...i AM adolescent...i just need lots more flannel and slightly longer hair...

those flannel dresses remind me of the time i sat in ants on my 19th birthday, right after i'd moved to austin...i was sitting on the front steps of my dorm, waiting for my friend to pick me up to take me out for my bday, and it slowly dawned on me that i was sitting right in the path of some very diligent fire ants... and i should tell you that fire ants in texas seem to have a SERIOUS grudge to work off, because they are methodical and full of rage... anyway, i realize that i'm sitting in this ant pile, so i march straight into the campus store in my dorm, buy some cortizone cream, and bolt to my new dormroom...

basically, one of my new roommate's first encounters with me involved me flying into the room, frantically yanking off my undies and slathering cortizone cream on my unmentionalables... that poor girl was only getting a hint of what was to come...

trifecta

2006-05-29T18:47:00.000-04:00

in less than one week everyone to whom i am directly related will converge to be in one city at one time. the peril of this powder keg can scarcely be described... with many a larger issue to be concerned about, all i can think about is whether or not they'll think i look pretty enough and how to clean my apartment in time...

in brighter news, i've been delerious with fever and coughing up a lung...

favorite song of the week...

2006-05-25T04:50:00.000-04:00

...marching bands of manhattan

indeed

2006-05-24T17:00:00.000-04:00

it's smazing what one can do when one has no choice

i object

2006-05-16T21:38:00.000-04:00

b's blog gets more traffic than mine... and she's neurotic

And so it begins...

2006-05-08T13:58:00.000-04:00

the final stretch... and it stretches ahead overwhelmingly...
things are generally good... i'm allowed to graduate, even picked up my cap and gown... surreal... and dad's coming! that seemed touch and go at first, but i'm pleased to report that he wants to come...

in other news... i met a real live disappearing boy...
it seems like people should just accept that your affection is genuine unless there's good reason to believe otherwise.. mine was...

stella's afraid of the bathroom now... that has some very unsettling implications.

for now, poverty has been staved off, and it's exquisite

so here's the lowdown - 2 in-class finals, 1 take home final, 3 research papers, and one massive research project... if i hear anyone complaining about their exam schedule, i'll clock them.

i'm going to be a fucking lawyer... what the...?

2006-05-06T20:53:00.000-04:00

there are no words...

2006-05-02T12:44:00.000-04:00

becky's...unknown...shame.

typical

2006-04-23T16:51:00.000-04:00

And after much bitching and moaning, i'm already mourning the end of the holidays... things are drawing to a close, or rather they should be.. for me they stretch indefinitely ahead, dishearteningly undetermined..
in the grand tradition of myself, there is no money to be found, there is only bleak, bleak poverty and a looming phone call..
why then, are my spirits not crumbled? only time and much introspection will tell... and both are very expensive..
I've seen more movies in the last week than i care to admit and i fumbled on my cat-sitting duties yesterday... as guilty as i feel, i still procrastinate.. Stern would read volumes into it, and maybe he's onto something... they can batter and maim me, but i'll never tell..

i told last night, though... it's strange to know someone for quite some time and then tell them an old secret.. they look at you with new eyes, often sadder, and you wonder if it would have been better to remain silent... but then silence is what allows bad things to happen... and the bad things become secrets, which become silence..

why is it that i sound sad today when i'm actually not? or maybe i am and i'm just too far removed to know it... and if that's the case, why am i working so hard to be less removed? isn't it progress to gain distance on sadness? or is that just dysfunction..

there was some frolicking, but perhaps these things are better left unsaid.

Barristers' v. School (2006)

2006-04-20T12:11:00.000-04:00

Summary Judgment for Barristers' Ball

Overview and Legislative History -
The defendent (School) was brought up on charges repeatedly since the mid 70s for causing paralysis and melancholy in hundreds of victims, as evidenced below.

Barristers' Ball was alleged to have provided sweet, sweet relief in the form of hors d'oeuvres, an open bar and much mindless frolicking (see: In re. Frolicking (1999)).

Related Terms: Paradisio, Purgatorio, Inferno

passover

2006-04-16T11:03:00.000-04:00

longest....week....ever.

happy days

2006-04-01T16:21:00.000-05:00

and the show was a shiny success!! the laughter kept coming and the cues were nailed.... and it all begs the question, why am i in law school again?

in other news, the party was another raging success, and i mean RAGING... we've decided that we need more such ridiculousness more often... debauchery and mayhem will abound once more...

2006-03-17T22:02:00.000-05:00

unbefuckinglievable. seriously.

Colin's 30th

2006-03-10T01:26:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday, my darling boy... I miss you.

2006-02-28T12:20:00.000-05:00

SUPERSTAR

2006-02-28T11:35:00.000-05:00

mischief

Turtle

2006-02-28T10:57:00.000-05:00

Close her eyes, open the door
Step into the bright, hot light, fall through the floor
Invisible under dark water again
She knows to hold her breath
And count to ten

It’s a sin

Breathing now to pretend
She lives in the same still world they live in
If anyone knew what had happened before
Who can’t open their own door
And count to ten

It’s a sin

Close my eyes open the door
Step into the bright, hot light fall through the floor
Invisible under dark water again
I know to hold me breath
And count to ten

It’s a sin, it’s a sin

scratch

2006-02-27T15:04:00.000-05:00

the almighty dollar has kicked my ass again.

insanity

2006-02-23T21:20:00.000-05:00

how could somebody who lives so fiercely fall for someone so afflicted with motionlessness?

blocked

2006-02-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

And what a whirlwind it has been…. But this blogging thing truly seems to be beyond me… I don’t know whether to recount my days or to retell my stories….

I AM however, being harassed by my diminutive audience, few though loyal they be… soon I will make my lists… lists are all that I can think of to do… favorites, fears, peeves, etc…. not tasty prose, but very telling… ..

here she comes

2006-02-08T15:06:00.000-05:00

she's coming. tomorrow. i'm afeared.

and sooo much to do before then... i need to move my bed and kick ALL of my possessions into my closet... that will take hours.... then i have to get taller, lose weight, grow long hair, and dress more like a grown-up....all in a day... noooo problemo... law school has taught me how to multi-task... and drink kosher wine until i'm reeling... that's $160,000 well spent, right? i need a sugar mama/daddy... BAD.....NOW...

in class at the moment and pretention runs rampant... it's a wild bore.

I Knew It

2006-02-05T11:03:00.000-05:00

I KNEW i'd start this damn thing and then get bored with it... could i have posssibly run out of things to day? is that all the fodder i've gathered in 30 years?

So last night I hung out with sara and her hubby and sara was all about the intensely personal and unbelievably graphic girltalk... i love that about her...
and this friend of their was doing that sarcastic assholey filirting thing, so i was a sarcastic asshole back and apparently he got his feelers all hurt and ended up slinking home with his tail between his legs.... ooops, and he's in the FBI, which fully sucks cause he might now have me killed.. he was nice enough for a long-winded, self-aggrandizing, overthenthitive, egomaniac... nice enough for that... AND he offered to take me to a shooting range today,... maybe i should ahve played nicer, but he started it....besides, how do i always sit at the wrong end of the bar?

there's a babe in the woods, but i'm the one that's lost...

walking

2006-02-01T08:56:00.000-05:00

so, i rediscovered the beauty and bloodiness of walking all over this fine city.. but mostly just beauty in general, walking or not.. and then back to the grind went i..

...and life trudges forward...

all

2006-01-29T00:44:00.000-05:00

is well

shithole

2006-01-28T10:40:00.000-05:00

sorry, rach, you're staying in one this weekend...

i got tagged

2006-01-28T04:52:00.000-05:00

OK MISS THING!!!
so here it goes, i've been prodded, cajoled, nudged, and finally ordered to make my list:

The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner.

First of all, i'd like my partner's sex to be varied- aggressive, warm, breathless, patient, and most of all, difficult to resist...
other points -
- my lover will, above all else, be kind
- my lover will be brimming with imagination and possibility in all areaas
- my lover will be unable to resist tidying my apartment while i snooze
- my lover will be the very best person in the world to tell secrets to
- my lover will be my compliment; the person who brings what i lack and wants what i bring
- my lover will know when to keep me in check and when to admit defeat
- my lover will have a side to their personality that only i get to see
- my lover will be unfalteringly loyal and fiercely protective of what is between us

so there.

disheartened, but not defeated

2006-01-28T02:12:00.000-05:00

Soooo..... late night cleaning... actually vaguely better than daytime cleaning, mostly because of the delerium, but still more than slightly LAME.... and i continue to be amazed at how, no matter how many bags of trash get thrown out, and no matter how many drawes, boxes, nooks and crannies i stuff clothes into, it appears that not a dent has been made in the madness...

i have nine and a half hours.... unbefuckinglievable.

Waking the Dead

2006-01-25T08:02:00.000-05:00

The beauty of the LongSleep is the waking up... it's also the terror of it... there's the prospect of falling back asleep and there's sudden clap of bright noise that makes you short circuit.. But it's all about being awake, no?

I forgot to send harry potter my notes, which should make fun the, already festive, Vichy and Holocaust class, in which i'm reasonably sure i'm the only gentile... glad the irish aren't major transgressors... except obviously amongst their own... and they eat their young...

Me 'n' Ying are on Plan Infinitum, which never ceases to both improve and ruin my every waking step.. but they're waking steps... again, that's the point...

i have to clean... it's embarassing to even let the various and seemingly infinite delivery peeps of manhattan see it... but i imagine they've seen it all... they probably just think i'm the youngest eccentric cat lady on the map... which would be true if i was actually 12... more embarassing still to have houseguests... which is why mine will be sleeping under one of new york's finest bridges, though she doens't know it yet... it's heartbreaking the lies i'd tell for spicy cheetos and cute girls...

this needs italics... i'll start my own blog regime and it'll have italics and everyone will be pied pipered in with my delicious blog propganda before they even realize that they've changed all their names to those of my choosing and unconsciously hum my anthem throughout their 20%-goes-to-me workdays.... it at least appears that i'm already in the Vichy state of mind this morning...
off to ALR, the bane of my existance... my third attempt at advanced legal research and my last change to pass that fucking class, made especially for cardozo by satan's handmaids....

and into the bath go i, into the bath to lift the spell, to have, to wed, to get, to save, to kill to keep, to go to the festival, into the bath and happy ever after...

As I AM my witness...

2006-01-25T01:32:00.000-05:00

I'm making yet antoher feeble attempt at blogging...

sad but true

2005-01-11T17:29:00.000-05:00

in the spirit of my complete retardation, i haven't posted since my first day of blogging... now, that fact alone isn't proof of my total incompetence, it's the fact that the reason for this is that i couldn't remember what blog site i signed up with... which led to a fruitless Googling of every and all blog sites, followed by the tedium of attempting to log in using all variations of my standard login/password options.... so, today i randomly got messaged by a stranger on friendster who happened to have his blog address posted in his profile, and on a whim and with all the enthusiasm of a person with no hope, i tried it out.... lo and behold - i found my long lost blog...
because i'm not entirely useless and i do try to learn from my endless stream of missteps, i saved the URL in my favorites, and barring sudden onset amnesia, a hard drive meltdown, or a simple episode typical of my daily idiocy, i will be able to find and add to this site again..... if i remember...

moribund

2004-12-08T16:07:00.000-05:00

so, holy crap, i'm f-ing ill today. SUCH a sore throat, and i can see a giant tonsill looking nasty and mean back there. i should have gotten those little fuckers out when i was a kid... ugh, so it's a week away from my first exam (read, i have a week to learn a semester) and i'm full-on sickly... at least the new meds seem to work a bit better.. small mercies, right? i take them where i can get them.

As it turns out, putting OJ and ice in the blender makes for a nice, throat-soothing slushie... omg, it even hurts to turn my head cause of all the swelling... woe is me....

i think since i'm just starting my first blog, i'm going to be rambling about a lot of useless crap for a while, until it loses its novelty and i only want to write about matters of some importance (at least to me)...

and today, since i'm feeling like poo, and hopped up on goofballs, i imagine i'll be writing A LOT... I'm thinking that keeping a written record will also help me to remember things like deadlines, appointments, etc... and if i let other people read my blog, maybe they'll have the kindness to remind me of things that they saw that i need to do...

Dawning of a new era

2004-12-08T14:13:00.000-05:00

Alright this is my first entry of my first blog. I've been threatening to start one for quite some time, but i'm all talk and no action. until now. maybe this will be the first in a series of life-changing decisions with which i will cease to be a person of inaction and become a person who actually makes choices...we'll see...